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THE FRESHMeN LIST
Here are a few underground articles that have been rejected by a famous news outlet, Free Malaysia today. Only a few had the privilege to read these articles: FMT editors. The Freshmen List is the home of satirical news and will not hold back against any person or party. Welcome to FMT Rejectss:
The Freshmen List.
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The Freshmen List #2: Why Breaking the Rules is ok
Rules are the foundations of society, and they keep us from releasing our inner demons. If you have read Lord of the Flies, then you would know what little boys can do when they abandon supervision. If you haven’t, then look no further than the courts, the streets, and the homes of Malaysia. Just recently, BN and PAS MPs staged a walkout in order to protest the legitimacy of Mohamad Ariff Yusof’s position as House Speaker. These BN MPs sat down with multiple reporters to go over “point order 4.4” which, just like many bodies of law, illustrates the tedious and intricate process to elect a new House Speaker. The arguments by BN were surprisingly credible for once, and I think it’s safe to say--unless you don’t hear from me in the next few days-- that the Prime Minister has broken the rules. So, what are the implications of this growing rebellious culture? Should we run across the streets naked, throwing spears at every Myvi and Proton we see? I wish, but the timing of these events, including AG Tommy Thomas’ refusal to hear charges in Bahasa Malaysia and the apparent abuse of civil rights in Najib’s case, is perfect. It’s time we follow our leaders and break the rules.
You can hear it all over the streets. Everybody is talking about a new Malaysia, the birth of a new nation; you can watch a sneak preview of it in The Purge. Everybody loves to see change whether it’s good or bad. Change is hope, hope is Pakatan Harapan, and thus change is Pakatan Harapan. Under the administration of Mahathir and Wan Azizah, Pakatan Harapan has made a well-thought-out plan to end Malaysia’s debt, fomented a “political vendetta”, and promoted plans for a new national car. Clearly, these guys know what they are doing and what’s best for the new nation.
But what is change when rules still govern us today? Thanks to the actions of this new administration, we know that the best way to point out the flaws of an old nation is by breaking its rules and witnessing the consequences. Why must we give a fair trial to a Rolex-loving cheat? Why must we speak English, a language so foul and irrelevant, in courts and government? Why are point orders still presiding over our government today? Who cares if a child marrying an old dude is against human rights? Rules are meant to be broken in times of change.
Many of us are still uncertain of Malaysia’s future, but we can rest assured knowing that this new government will even break the law in order to protect its valued citizens. If that’s not enough, then don’t forget they ended GST...and issued the Sales and Service Tax.
July 18th, 2018, Triple A
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The Freshmen List #1:
Najib Is Innocent
When we were kids, our parents would always warn us not to say any “swear” words. Those same swear words still exist today, but our society has tabooed yet another--corruption. With the growing amount of corruption cases today, it seems impossible not to point fingers. If this were the United States, the corruption debate would become a form of “dog-whistle politics”--a means to undermine certain parties (BN) but really to promote a new party (PH). However, all of this corruption talk is wearing out the promises of our recent election.
Reading about Altantuya’s case and 1MDB reminded me about a movie I watched when I was about 12--Scarface starring Al Pacino. Behind the substance abuse, stringent loyalty, and what not, it’s actually a story about a conflicted man who balances his purity with his rise to power and wealth. This narrative perfectly ties in with the corruption we see surrounding Najib, with the murder accusations, illegal and unbounded spending, and even innocence. Until today, he still proclaims his innocence and plays the victim in a scandal that nobody really understands. So do we take his word? Well, may we?
An educated person would possibly argue that Najib is neither innocent nor a sole villain and something in between, but that thinking is ultimately false. In fact, that sort of thinking is the reason why this tedious debate is delaying any real change. If he claims that he is innocent, then hell, he is innocent! For once, somebody, who so happens to be Najib, is willing to put an end to the talks. He’s giving us the opportunity to move on and make true progress, and because of that why must we hate him? His very commitment to the progress of our nation is enough to wipe his slate clean. So, let the charges go already!
The corruption debate only serves to destroy the image of our recent election that still stands out as the most revolutionary in our history. When Malaysians in the future read about the election of 2018, they will be truly disappointed to find out that it was all about “ending” corruption and overthrowing a “bigot”.
How about something more enlightening? Don’t want to be stuck in another traffic jam? Done, increase public transportation and stop subsidizing Myvis. Tired of seeing trash all over the streets? Done, arrest the usual suspects and implement the death penalty. Is your Bahasa Inggeris really whack? Done, model our education system just like the UK’s. It’s that simple.
If we truly want to live up to this year’s election then let’s forget the corruption, the money, the corpses and put better ideas on the table. End the story of corruption here, or it will keep corrupting us.
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June 26th, 2018, Triple A